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LIVE ELECTION UPDATE!

November 4, 2008 - Wes Burns
7:58pm Here we are at the end of things.

Some people will tell you that this election is unlike any other. They'll tell you that there has never been a more important time in history to vote. Historic ramifications, fate the free world, all that. These people are wrong. This election is exactly like every election since 2002. Why? Because once again the polling place screwed up my voting information.

In 2002 they told me that I didn't live in Marshalltown. This was news to me as I had driven to the polling place from my home in Marshalltown. I had to re-register and fill out a provisional ballot.

In 2004 they told me that I registered to vote in Ames, as I was attending school there at the time. Myself and my friend Matt registered with the help of some friendly Republicans and finally were ready to vote. A few days later I went to the polling place and was told that I do not live in Ames and would have to fill out a provisional ballot.

In 2006 I pre-registered when an attractive door knocker came by and asked me if I wanted to help make a difference. This is also why I am a member of the Sierra Club. While the voting itself went off without a hitch that environmental temptress is the reason I am on a limitless number of mailing lists for nature-safe products.

In 2008 (read: today) I walked to the polling place while talking to my friend Julianne in New York. She was walking to her polling district and voting in her new city for the first time. We were comparing stories and talking about the possibilities of this election. She went into her polling place and I went into mine. I was then told that I had already voted via absentee and, since I had not, would have to fill out a provisional ballot.

Frankly, I think somebody is trying to suppress my vote. But given my voting record over the past 8 years of eligibility (the 2000 election actually went pretty smooth) they are not discriminating against my political beliefs. I think they, or They, if you will, are just trying to keep me out. Frankly I see no other option.

Oh right, the election. Right now, according to CNN at least, its Obama with 102 electoral votes, McCain with 43.

8:23pm: I've been told by Fox News that Obama is going to win Ohio. This has Obama at 200 electoral votes, McCain at...something. AMC is showing "Rocky" right now. I wonder if McCain is watching.

9:00 CNN just projected Iowa for Obama. The polls closed at 9pm. How, exactly, did they do that?

9:15 The AP has called Iowa for Tom Harkin. I'm not sure how much money it cost to predict this results but that money was wasted. The only way Harkin would leave his senate chair is with some kind of Batmobile-esque ejector seat.

9:23pm: McCain is projected to win Texas and Mississippi, bringing his electoral count to 135. A good sign for Mr. McCain, but a bad sign for CNN as one of their "analysts" just referred to not repeating himself like a "broken drum." FAIL.

9:48pm: The following headline appeared on CNN. "Will.I.Am appearing via hologram". One of the guys from the Black Eyed Peas? Via hologram? This stuff was outdated in Star Wars. Help me Anderson Cooper, you're our only hope!

10:08 Everybody is calling Barack Obama as the victor. President Barack Obama? Sounds good; feels kind of like living in the future. Also-the state senate seat, 22nd district, is going to go for Steve Sodders. This makes me happy as Mr. Sodders personally saved me from being shot while attempting to film a movie. For full details read my blog "Cults, Cops and Cameras."

10:48pm: Everybody is packing it in. Next time I live blog an election I'm hoping its not a blowout. They aren't very interesting from a reporting perspective. Happy election day everyone; now lets see if we can make it to work on time tomorrow.

 
 

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