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Cars of the future past

October 14, 2012 - Wes Burns
When you read as much news as I do on any given day (somewhere between Too Much and Clinical Obsession) you get used to seeing the same kind of stories. Political rancor, scientific advancement, military actions throughout the world and an absolutely ludicrous amount of celebrity "news."

What, the cast of "Glee" is going to host a charity Sing-A-Long to benefit the Hollywood Horse Society? Quick, we need 1500 words and a slew of pictures! What? Iran who? What show is he on? So, most of the time it can be a little disheartening.

But sometimes there is a story that changes your perspective, sometimes there's a story that's the right story for its time and place, sometimes there's a story, and I'm talking about Aqua Cars here. Yes, Aqua Cars.

Leaping of the flickering screens of dated newsreels and into what we've all agreed to call "the real world" a company named Gibbs Sports Amphibians Inc., which I can only assume is owned and operated by large, athletic salamanders, has decided to answer the consumer demands of 1959 and created the first high-speed, commercially available amphibious vehicle which they call The Quadski.

So, it is a jet ski with four wheels? And what are we calling "high-speed" these days? Because this thing only goes 45 miles per hour.

Ok, so it is a four-wheeler you can drive into the lake, realize you forgot to put it into "aqua" mode, curse the heavens as it slowly sinks to the bottom of the lake, then explain to your family why you're already packing up the car? Sounds fun!

I think this is false advertising to call this thing a car (which they did not) because cars have things like doors, windshields, and more self respect than needed to drive into a lake. The Quad Ski is a device to be used solely by the offensively rich, those suffering from a mid life crisis and people who think Red Bull is some kind of religion.

Now, when they finally make one of those aquatic Studebakers, give me a call.


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