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Long underwear isn't sexy

January 8, 2010 - Mike Donahey
The only way to write this is to write it.
I like wearing long underwear when necessary. By necessary, I mean about 10 degrees or colder.
This winter’s temperatures have resulted in frequent wear.
I’ve also worn “union” suits, which is full body long underwear with a drop bottom. Those have come in handy, especially on bitterly cold days, when the wind cuts through and chills your backbone.
While long underwear is not sexy, it certainly is warm. There are exceptions to it being sexy and I’ll return to that subject later.
It can make shoveling snow on a cold day, even on a corner lot, tolerable. Equally, a short run-walk up to the Iowa Veterans Home can be more invigorating. It can make walking to the Times-Republican from our house, which is about one mile away, easier. I did it after our first blizzard before our street could be plowed.
Long underwear can also make changing a tire in slush a lot easier. I know. I did it about two years ago.
Add pushing cars out of snow drifts or scrapping an ice-covered windshield for about 20 minutes and one’s covered some handy uses.
I’m sure farmers, ice-fisherman, hunters, and anyone who works outside likes it as well.
I wrote it is not sexy. More specifically, not sexy for regular guys.
Male models are exceptions. You know who they are and where they can be seen.
They are all extremely fit looking, with muscular arms and legs. Many have chiseled chins. Some with one or two days growth of beard. They also have “six-pack” abdominal muscles. Forget about love handles on these guys.
They can be seen pictured modeling the underwear on packages and in catalogs.
Earrings and tattoos will not be seen either, for fear of giving the wrong image.
Personally, I wouldn’t wear an earring or have a tattoo. That is because I’ve seen only a few of each I’ve liked. I’ve seen more bad tattoos than I can count.
My dad likes to tell a tattoo-related story. It was World War II. He was in the Navy on shore-leave. In brief, one beer led to another and another and soon he was thinking of getting a tattoo. That’s not unusual for seamen.
He told a fellow crewman he was going to get a tattoo. They guy was an Irishman from Boston.
According to Dad, his crew-mate said in a loud voice, with his heavy Irish accent, “Donahey (pronounced Don–a–hee by him) you are not getting a tattoo!”
Plain and simple, with no argument from Dad, who has been grateful ever since.
However, I’ll give you an argument if you tell me I can’t wear my long underwear. Even if I don’t look sexy.



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