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What is: ad-nauseum?

December 16, 2011
By Wes Burns , Times-Republican

I DVR Jeopardy. Yes, I am a nerd. Yes, I?am better at trivia than you.

With the magic of DVR I?can watch an entire episode of Jeopardy in about 20 minutes. As we all know this feat of TV truncation is made possible by skipping the commercials.

Oh, how I love to skip the commercials.

Now don't get me wrong. I have written more than one column about the absurd world of American advertising. But those are the wondrous commercials you see on late night TV, not the stuff they play in the middle of the day.

I was accustomed to seeing quick flashing images of life insurance and medical devices during my rapid commercial purges. But as of late my 10 seconds of skipping forward looks more like a collection of GOP candidate profile pics; and an alarming number of black and white photos of Obama, usually tilted to such a degree one would assume he was a about to square off against Adam West's Batman.

Pow! Biff! Zap!

Yes, our collective fears have been affirmed, we are in the midst of yet another pre-caucus media blitz.

As we Iowans have all learned from years of tornado drills when a destructive storm is heading your way the best course of action is to hunker down in a basement and wait. This was how I?had planned to survive this caucus season as well.

Now, I prefer to do my hunkering with a little Youtube, as nothing kills time quite like videos of cat-ninjas making breakfast food. While drunk. And covering Coldplay.

And yet, in this most omnipresent of caucus seasons, even my beloved Youtube has fallen under the mighty yoke of political ads.

While watching my beloved late night TV commercials (home of the Anonymous Gold Buying Company and the Ab-sassin Crunch Machine) I would repeatedly see a commercial for, I?think a car ... maybe ... that featured a bunch of people trying to remember the words to Elton John's greatest song "Rocket Man."

Needless to say my ADD addled mind had to listen to the song. Immediately.

So I?take to Youtube to find a video of Sir Elton. I found a live performance from a stadium in England and loaded up the video.

Who do you think greeted me when the video loaded?

That's right, Rick Perry, in all his Heath Ledger jacket glory.

So Perry had a little bit to say about openly gay service members in the military (he's not a fan) then I watched an ELTON JOHN video.

Ok, since the GOP candidates are probably googling themselves in every Iowa newspaper there is an outside chance they might see this.

This is personally addressed to Rick, Michelle, Ron, other Rick, Newt and Mitt: when you buy a block of advertising on the internet make sure you check on which videos your ad will play.

Mitt Romney appearing before the "Saw" soundtrack? Ron Paul showing up before Fionna Apple's "Criminal" AND Snoop Dogg's "Vato?"

Yes, I have odd taste in music. Apparently so do these guys.

Next caucus season I say we get a scroll running at the bottom of the screen warning us that conditions are right for another storm of political pandering. That way I'll know when to head to the basement.


Copy Editor Wes Burns is a Friday columnist. The views expressed in this column are personal views of the writer and don't necessarily reflect the views of the T-R. Contact Wes Burns at 641-753-6611 or



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