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No more Goodwill for the lonely CRT TV

September 15, 2012
By WES BURNS (wburns@timesrepublican.com) , Times-Republican

Where do you keep your antiques?

Your artifacts of the past, the treasured collection of old items that have dragged from apartment to apartment, house to house, all the while wondering when exactly did you buy this thing?

Well, let me rephrase. "Antiques" is a proper English term, in American English the word is "junk."

Sound more familiar?

If you're mind is conjuring up images of 8-track players and back issues of National Geographic don't be alarmed; you're on the right track.

I would be willing to bet a king's ransom in vending machine snacks (the official currency of the T-R) that most of your "antiques" are stored somewhere in the basement region of your house.

And what more fitting a locale than the basement? Spacious, cool and just damp enough to give all your boxes that much sought after musty smell.

But what happens when your "antique" collection expands to include, say, a giant exercycle you bought on a whim and now use mostly to dry towels and amuse yourself enroute to the fridge?

Hypothetically.

When faced with an overflowing reliquary the noble idea is to find the least detestable item you own and donate it charity. By least detestable I mean books that have covers, shirts free of holes and TVs, big, clunky, 36-inch CRT TVs that you haven't plugged in since you got a flat screen.

Maybe you think someone could use this TV, that maybe you should drag it up a flight of stairs, stow all 300 pounds of it in the back of a pick up, and drive it to a charitable organization that rhymes with Wood Gill, only to be met by a well meaning person that is too young to remember "Independence Day" telling you that "we no longer take CRT TVs."

Beg pardon?

I'm not here with some foul refuse like a garbage bag full of moldy bread or a box of "Catch the Dukakis Fever" T-shirts; this thing actually works! You mean I literally can't give it away?

My loud protestations went unheeded by the courteous staff, mostly because they were made in my car, to myself, hours after the event.

Now I, like so many people, have a worthless, 300 pound TV that I can't throw away without incurring a fine.

So I turned to our friendliest Big Brother (Google) to figure our just what I can do short of dropping this thing out a helicopter into the ocean.

First up: Best Buy! The good folks at Best Buy have a service where they will recycle an old CRT TV, provided it is under 32 inches. Anything bigger than that and they will come pick it up for you, provided you are already buying another TV and they are already there delivering said new TV and traffic isn't too busy and none of the delivery guys are too tired and nobody has any plans later that evening. Also, some restrictions may apply.

Next!

Message board weirdos! These guys took a break from arguing over frame rates of Blu-Ray players to weigh in on the "what do I?do with this giant CRT TV" issue.

The response? "Sell it to someone you don't like."

Thanks for not challenging any stereotypes there, message board weirdos.

Refusing to be trolled away I?checked another message board where the only new idea (sell it to someone you don't like was high on this board's list as well) was "put it on some skateboards."

I like that, but what's the next step? Roll it off a cliff? Then however would I get my skateboards back? While I appreciate Optimish Prime's idea, I don't think its going to work.

Next up: Pictures!

Having grown tired of these word-based nonstarters I decided to abandon the message boards and mosey on over to Google Images, hopefully to find some easily understood diagrams about how to dispose of a CRT TV without breaking state or federal law.

Google images said: Big screen CRT TV, Mila Kunis, CRT TV next to a flat screen, batteries, speaker wires, big screen projection TV face down on the curb, unexplained bar graph, Nikola Tesla, and a cartoon couch potato that I'm going to take as a personal insult.

Thank you Google! Why didn't I think of it before! Mila Kunis will be more than happy to get rid of this TV for me!

So, what should you do with your old CRT TV? Just keep it; it shouldn't be too much longer until they're considered collectable antiques. And if anybody is interested in getting their collection started right now, I think I can help you out.

 
 

 

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