Don’t taunt, trash talk or jeer. It’s never worked for me, in fact it usually backfires. I found the best approach, especially in sports, when someone trash talked me, was to just be quiet, accept it for what it was, trash talk, then go ahead and blow them out of the water by good performance, with my mouth closed. That shuts’m up real quick. I know trash talk works for some people, like Shannon Sharpe of the Denver Broncos, Larry Bird of the Boston Celtics and Muhammad Ali (“The Greatest”), to rattle their opponents. I always admired Bird, and never knew he was such a trash talker, until I read some history of him. I must admit my admiration for him slipped a little. I thought he was your general all-around good-time super jock.

Bird was also a braggart. “What’s the three-point record for this auditorium? You can count it mine!” It worked for him. Not me. One time I was hired by a company to write their company history. They were going to publish the history and distribute it to their employees and customers. They paid me handsomely. It would be my first published book. I bragged to one and all that I was getting my first book published. Well, the company didn’t like the history as I had written it, and the publishing was nixed. I felt like a fool. Years later I found out that the company was referencing in a positive way what I had written. So it took some time, without bravado, for the book to reach fruition.

Practical jokes can be dangerous. Especially paybacks. In a college apartment one time, I wrapped a rubber band around the handle of the spray nozzle of the kitchen sink, so that when my roommate turned the sink faucet on, he would be sprayed. When I fell in my waterbed that night (remember those?) I discovered a wet bed. The fill-cap had been removed from the bladder. Not a nice thing to deal with at 2:00 in the morning after the bars close. Grrr. I hate paybacks.

Don’t say what you don’t mean or, don’t bluff. As a Human Resources Representative one time, I had a disgruntled employee challenge me to a fight. Really. We had no security. I stood up to back him down and he set me back in my chair. The fight was out of me. Fortunately maintenance people quelled the disturbance, but I was left shaken.

If you’re a nice guy to the general public, but not nice to your family at home, you’re not a nice guy.

If you’re going to project into the future, and we all do, project good things. A Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) is your greatest asset, next to God.

When I feel critical of someone, which is way too often, I try to remember a little prayer, “Relieve me of the bondage of self, take away my difficulties.” It’s not everyone else’s difficulties, it’s my difficulties that are the problem.

Honesty is always the best policy–everybody has their own BS detectors. Even little kids. I told my kids once, “Mommy and I are going to try living separately for awhile, to see how it works.” My five-year-old son said, “So, you’re getting a divorce, huh?”

Don’t loan money. Give it away. If you expect to be paid back, you may be disappointed and/or angry. Look at it as a gift to help someone, realizing that God has been pretty good to you, and that you can share in your good fortune. When people ask, give (even if you don’t like them).

I was at a family gathering. An uncle came up to me and, pointing to my father, said, “Your dad’s a great man, you know.”

“I know,” I said.

Years later, I was doing something for someone and had my son with me. I made a boo boo and my son laughed at me. The person shushed my son and said, “Your father’s a great man, you know.”

I heard my son say, “I know.”

Wow. Flashback.

The lesson here is? I dunno. Maybe, wait long enough and the good genes will eventually show through.

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Have a good story? Call or text Curt Swarm in Mt. Pleasant at 319-217-0526 or email him at curtswarm@yahoo.com. Curt is available for public speaking.